Prayer Before Getting on Scale

Dear Lord our father,
As I stand here naked before thee,
waiting judgement from thy needle,
I ask thee for compassion,
and pray thee to be sparing.
Honor my sacrifice of bread and sucrose.
Immolate Grilled Stuff't Burrito combo.
May the week's fast not be-ith in vain.
May pedometer vouch for tribulation,
May devotion be measured in sweat.
May the stench of worn gymsock be testament to undying devotion.
Pardon pie and sweet iced tea,
for a sin to turn down mother be.
Cast blind eye upon pint and shotglass,
for tis but a blurry memory.
Amen.